Because of employees quiting and my father-in-law fishing I was asked to man the family's Christian book store for two days. Yesterday I brought in my kids and homeschooled them here. Today we have friends at our home to help. Walking out the door without my brood in tow was a mixture of excitement (to have a day for myself, even if it was working) and heartbreak (my 14 mo. old was screaming for me). How do working moms leave every day? I can only shake my head and wonder. To hand the responsibility of raising and teaching my children to someone else is not a pleasing thought.
This makes me remember my husband (Nathan) and my 10 year wedding anniversary trip that we took 2 years ago. He had planned it for a week, but I pleaded it down to 5 days. By the 3rd day I was uneasy - things just didn't feel right. The 4th day I could only think about my children. And by the 5th? I was crying for them. Moms are supposed to be with their children when they're little.
I know this isn't politically correct, but I never care about that. I know it sounds harsh, but for some moms who just want to work, who like the freedom of not having to train, discipline and rebuke in a consistent manner...well, this is the truth. But for you other moms,(and I know some personally who really would love to be the greatest influence in their childrens' lives, but for difficult circumstances, can not)...I so feel for you. I hope you never lose that heartache as you walk out the door, leaving your little ones behind. I hope situations change. I hope you know that I care and I hurt with you.
Here is to those hours or days of being alone that homeschool moms rarely get! Here's to being able to complete a thought...to not be a jungle gym for a little while...to talk to adults if you have to talk to somebody! But even greater, here's to the reunion of smiling faces, hugs, tickle fights and laughter when I get home to my babes.
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